I am not a Soccer Mom...or Dad

Unfortunately for Little One (LO), I am not to social at her extracurricular events. I am not one to make small talk with the other parents, comment on how well our kids are doing (or not doing), or whatever else people gee-haw about.

I am much more likely to be watching my kid or reading. Often I will have earbuds in, even if not listening to music or a lecture, just to maintain the body language of someone who doesn't want to chat. Yes, I am that guy. I am the guy reading a book at the bar of a busy restaurant on a Saturday night. I am not there to chat, but I am tired of my cooking and don't want to have to endure the witty banter of a server. Bartenders are generally much better are reading their clientele and being professional, efficient and then getting the hell out of the way.

My behavior is not without an impact on my daughter. It is doubtful that she will have many friends spending the night because I don't make the effort to get to the know their parents (the converse is also true, I suppose).

For this, my precious Little One, I do apologize. Call me selfish. Call me an introvert. I plead guilty on both counts.

Ah, Little One, How You Vex Me

My darling daughter, my Little One. I am sorry that your middle finger got smashed at the ice rink this morning. I know it is painful. I am also sorry (for you) that I had to take your cell phone. I did not take it away because you called your mom, but because dirty clothes were piled 3 layers deep in your bathroom when you were about to leave for school and you promised me that you had cleaned your bathroom last night.  It stinks, but don't tell me stories.

Little One, I want to know what is bothering you at school that makes you visit the nurse's office so often and beg to come home. You didn't like your last school where you were a minority, but you excelled academically and had friends and were active in extracurricular activities. We moved to a new school this year, and you have also done very well with your grades, seem to have friends, and are involved in clubs and such.

So what is it? You have mentioned some run-ins with your "nemesis", Sarah Grace, but I thought that it had been sorted out. I know that middle school is a new, scary and challenging environment. For what it's worth, I hated it, too. High school was a little better, but mostly because college was the light at the end of the tunnel. I don't know what I can do to help, but I need you to tell me what is really bothering you so we can work together to fix it. Home school is not an option.

With love,
Your confused and worried Dad

And, for 2013 I Resolve

...to make no resolutions. I thought about this a good bit, actually. I decided against it, and here's why. I read an interesting book last year by one of the founders of LinkedIn, Reid Hoffman, called The Start-Up of You. It had some pretty good ideas in it, and I took several to heart. Like most 'self-help' books, there is really nothing totally new in here, but I think that certain authors are able to reach certain readers more effectively.

The notion that a person should regularly engage in periods of critical self-evaluation and then see if modification of one's course is needed is something that I am trying to take to heart. At times in my life I have been content to drift along in the current of my life, without really doing much to steer the boat. That approach didn't often produce positive outcomes, and certainly didn't make the most of those times.

So I didn't make any resolutions. I have done some reflection and am making some modifications to the course that I have plotted for myself. I will share part of my list here:

- Move my office from my current building back to the HQ. It has been valuable to be in this location as projects in the past several benefited from the proximity to certain resources, but as these projects are ending I need to move back to the centers of influence for new projects and continued advancement. I don't need to be out of sight and out of mind.

- Complete my scuba diving certification. I did all of the classroom work, pool work and aced the tests. I wasn't able to schedule my check-out dives last year, and getting divorced cut into the disposable income. This spring I will complete the process and then be able to enjoy this sport.

- Train my daughter to be a saver. I have done a poor job at this, and there are some practical exercises that I have in mind for us to learn, laugh and grow together.

- Vacation and learn to relax. I take time off from work. I normally don't use all of my vacation time. And when I am off, often times I just sleep and don't "do". Or I am working while I am on vacation. last year I was neck deep in a huge project and on a trip to the beach with Little One I was taking meetings on my cell phone from coffee shops with Wifi access, the hotel, and other lovely spots. Not the kind of beach memories I was hoping to make.

- Connect with people. I have a rich and fulfilling work life. I enjoy what I do and the people I work with. That said, I don't really have people that I socialize with outside of the office. Certainly none that I spend time with any degree of regularity. I have been content to sit at home and read, etc., watch TV, and just spend time with Little One. But we need to get out more and engage.

That's the short list for now. Have you resolved to do anything differently in this new year?