I wish I was in the Land of Cotton...

Those are some of the lyrics to the song 'Dixie'. An instrumental version of the tune was the only music played at my father's memorial service. My dad passed away 10 years ago today.

I spoke with him the evening before he died. It was just one of thousands of brief conversations we had, catching up, chatting. He explained he wasn't feeling fell and would be going to the doctor in the morning if he didn't feel better.

I think of my dad often. In my home, their are constant reminders of him: in the living room, book ends he had for years. In the kitchen, some knives and cookbooks. In my bedroom, a gun case, a steamer trunk, and countless books. Pictures on the mantle.

Tonight Little One and I will head to some Mexican restaurant and celebrate his memory. Here's to you, Dad.

Gearing up for the Season of Christmas Parties

So, one of the invites for a holiday reads "Semi-Formal or Christmas Attire". I need some help from the interwebs in determining what this might mean.

Here are some options:

 or

or

For a Friday, it Really Sucked

Fridays are supposed to be good days. The excitement of the pending weekend, the relaxed atmosphere of the office, the relaxed dress code, and perhaps even a longer lunch break. Mine should have been even a little better.

Having concluded a week-long seminar in the Lone Star State, I was headed back to the Deep South. I was at the airport, having made it through security without any hiccups. My boss had asked me to call in to discuss some changes to the plan for 2014, so I gave him a ring.

It was not a great call. That morning a number of staff cuts had been made, including one of my staff. She had been reporting to me officially for a couple of months, but in the HR system was still a direct to my boss. He had called her that morning and broke the news to her. I finished my call with him and called her. She was still in shock and still crying, some 5 hours after she first got the news.

I had nothing new to offer, other than empathy and the promise to do what I could in terms of leveraging my network and assisting her with her resume.

I am hoping that this week will be better. Friday, I expect more out of you, frankly.

Notes from Austin

"I wish I was in Austin 
In the Chili Parlour Bar 
Drinkin' Mad Dog Margaritas 
And not carin' where you are" - Guy Clark, Dublin Blues

Work recently took to me Austin, where I spent some time in classrooms on the UT campus. Sadly, news that it was fall had not quite arrived locally, despite the crush of students wandering the streets and filling the local eateries at the noon hour. It was still hot.

I did visit the joint mentioned in the song, and found that the quality of the food exceeded my expectations. The chili was spicy and beefy, with no beans to be seen and certainly none of the extraneous bits of pasta that some people north of Gawd's country occasionally require in their bastardization of the dish.  I avoided the margaritas, as I have never really developed a taste for them. A Shiner Bock (or several) served as my liquid refreshment. 

I went twice, once with a local who has been a long-time friend and once blogger buddy who has since left this channel of communication. The next trip was with a co-worker, a more sullen and quiet person. Kind of a downer, honestly, and certainly a stark contrast to the bubbly personality of my local friend who is doing her damnedest to "keep Austin weird."

I saw too little of the town for my taste, and it is doubtful that I will be afforded much of an opportunity to see more of it when I return next month  for another week of work. 

Pondering Changes and Seeking Counsel

I have worked for the same company for most of my adult life, and really like the organization. I have typically changed job functions internally every 2-4 years as I get bored sitting in the same chair doing the same thing.

Now I am thinking about moving. I live in a smaller metro area, but the largest in my state. As I look internally the most opportunities for advancement and challenge are westward, in one of the top 5 largest metro markets in the country, a big change. Opportunities in my career field outside of my present employer aren't readily available in my current market, and so any change would likely result in moving to another (probably larger) metro area.

I ask this question of the interweb: how much consideration should I give to Little One as I think about career planning? I have had some passing conversations about having to move for work, and she wasn't too excited. I know that legally I would have to run some traps with the EW and that could get sticky.

But setting aside the issue of ensuring Little One gets to see her mother on a regular basis (and I know this is the largest consideration in all of the discussion), what advice might you offer about disrupting her life in this corner of the Deep South? Should I sacrifice personal and professional opportunity for the next 6 years until she has completed her school years and is (hopefully) off to college or the Marine Corps?

I moved frequently growing up, and at times I was not pleased with being uprooted and I was certainly apprehensive each time I had to start anew at a school. I did understand that in order for my dad's career to be furthered and for him to be fulfilled professionally (and personally) that he needed to move.

So, returning to moving Little One away from her mother. I know this would be stressful for all parties, but not an insurmountable problem. It would be a challenge logistically, but one that Southwest, Delta or Continental could help solve.

Is thinking about my career path when I have a child in the house being selfish?

The Circle of Life and all that Nonsense

This weekend saw a lot of activity in the Life o' Jud. I took Friday off and drove to SC. My nephew just got a teaching gig at a small university there, and his sweetie was flying down from here teaching gig in Vermont and I hadn't met her (as it turns out I still haven't. Silly airline.)

I met my nephew at his grandparent's home. His grandfather had been put on hospice on Monday, but when I arrived, he seemed to be as spry as normal. We sat in the parlor and chatted for while. I saw some of my nephew's aunts that I hadn't seen in ages, and it was nice to catch up. After about 1/2 hour I took my leave, and headed out to dinner. The grandfather would pass on Sunday afternoon.

On Saturday, Little One's sole female cousin had her first child, a little girl. The infant had some minor complication that kept her in the NICU for a couple of nights, but the word is they are coming home today. I didn't get to see the baby, but met the EW and her partner in northern GA to pick up Little One and bring her home.

I love driving, but dislike most interstates. I had the chance to drive on Highway 129 from Madison, GA (off of I-20) through Athens and up to Jefferson  where I caught I-85. Highway 129 is a fun little stretch of road and a number of nice older home, especially in Madison. I should have taken a detour to Watkinsville to poke around, but was worried about being late. The EW was 2 hours late, so I would have had the time.

The drive through Atlanta wasn't too thrilling, apart from the normal excitement of driving at 75 in six lanes of moderate traffic. I drove through downtown, past Georgia Tech and The Varsity. Too bad we didn't have time to stop for a hot dog and some onion rings.

So, one birth and one death this weekend. Seeing the excitement that comes with the birth of a new child, the memories it brings back to those family members who have kids and recall those crazy days and nights with a newborn was tempered with spending time with a family who was preparing to say goodbye to their patriarch. An emotional weekend.

On a completely inane note, my Fantasy Football team won their first game. Quite a bit of nonsense, really.

I Guess this is Growing Up

Labor Day weekend came and went without much worthy of note. The same cannot be said of the prior weekend, when Little One crossed over into womanhood.

It is a strange moment in the life of a dad. I cannot imagine what it was like for her, and I have heard various tales from female friends about what it was like for them, from something that was celebrated to something that had never been discussed by parents and came as a complete shock.

We were at home, so any potentially embarrassing moments at school were avoided, thankfully. I quickly went to the store for the purchase of supplies, and Little One spent a good deal of the afternoon on the phone with her mom discussing all sorts of matters concerning the change, hygiene, etc.

After things had calmed down a bit, I took my Little One out to celebrate and to chat. I had a fairly clinical discussion with her, and then we ate some comfort food and some ice cream. She was fairly mortified to have the talk again with dad, but these are conversations that need to be had.

We both grew up a little, I think.