And, for 2013 I Resolve

...to make no resolutions. I thought about this a good bit, actually. I decided against it, and here's why. I read an interesting book last year by one of the founders of LinkedIn, Reid Hoffman, called The Start-Up of You. It had some pretty good ideas in it, and I took several to heart. Like most 'self-help' books, there is really nothing totally new in here, but I think that certain authors are able to reach certain readers more effectively.

The notion that a person should regularly engage in periods of critical self-evaluation and then see if modification of one's course is needed is something that I am trying to take to heart. At times in my life I have been content to drift along in the current of my life, without really doing much to steer the boat. That approach didn't often produce positive outcomes, and certainly didn't make the most of those times.

So I didn't make any resolutions. I have done some reflection and am making some modifications to the course that I have plotted for myself. I will share part of my list here:

- Move my office from my current building back to the HQ. It has been valuable to be in this location as projects in the past several benefited from the proximity to certain resources, but as these projects are ending I need to move back to the centers of influence for new projects and continued advancement. I don't need to be out of sight and out of mind.

- Complete my scuba diving certification. I did all of the classroom work, pool work and aced the tests. I wasn't able to schedule my check-out dives last year, and getting divorced cut into the disposable income. This spring I will complete the process and then be able to enjoy this sport.

- Train my daughter to be a saver. I have done a poor job at this, and there are some practical exercises that I have in mind for us to learn, laugh and grow together.

- Vacation and learn to relax. I take time off from work. I normally don't use all of my vacation time. And when I am off, often times I just sleep and don't "do". Or I am working while I am on vacation. last year I was neck deep in a huge project and on a trip to the beach with Little One I was taking meetings on my cell phone from coffee shops with Wifi access, the hotel, and other lovely spots. Not the kind of beach memories I was hoping to make.

- Connect with people. I have a rich and fulfilling work life. I enjoy what I do and the people I work with. That said, I don't really have people that I socialize with outside of the office. Certainly none that I spend time with any degree of regularity. I have been content to sit at home and read, etc., watch TV, and just spend time with Little One. But we need to get out more and engage.

That's the short list for now. Have you resolved to do anything differently in this new year?

Jealousy

...is an emotion I have been dealing a bit with of late. Jealous of the EW.

Little One spent the weekend with her mom this weekend. That is a good thing. They had some adventures, and Little One came back happy. And I am jealous. I guess a little jealous that through the week we don't have as much time, it seems to have fun. We have school. We have work. We have homework. We have chores. We have early morning ice skating lessons.

So I will strive to carve out more moments to laugh. More time to relax. More time to talk. More time to just enjoy one another's company.

Another Saturday Night and I Ain't Got Nobody...

Just a song lyric, really. I have a cold and have been pretty sluggish today. But feel better than yesterday, when I basically slept and consumed cold medicines. Today I took a shower, went to the market, cooked a pot of chili, cleaned the house a little, etc.

Now I am watching a little football, without much interest while I play around on the internet. I used to follow football closely. I knew the players, kept up with ESPN, went to 4-5 games a year. Now I have much less interest.

It's about time to turn in for the evening. Goodnight, inter-webs.

Damn Gym

I like to go the gym in the apartment complex that I call home. It is reasonably well equipped, having 2 treadmills, 2 ellipticals, a stairmaster, a couple of stationary bikes, and a large multi-tstation nautilus machine. I typically visit the gym in the evenings, after 8 PM. The gym is usually deserted at this time.

I like a quite gym, devoid of other people. I can work out, read on the bike and sweat in peace. And not push myself too hard. Yes, I sometimes slack when it is just me.

Last night, it was different. I just settled onto the bike and had been riding for about 14 minutes, and was getting into my biography of Horatio Nelson. And then it happened. A young lady comes into the gym. By young, I mean younger than me, but not so young that she could be un-dateable. I am guessing she was in her mid-thirties. Not that I was staring, because I wasn't.

The problem is that when there are other people in the gym I feel the need to push myself harder. To get after it. Now, in all fairness to the lady at the gym, she wasn't paying any attention to me. She was on a treadmill facing a wall, so I was out of her field of vision, even her peripheral, for most of the hour that I was there. And yet I kicked it up to "11".

And I am paying the price today. My shoulders are sore. My thighs scream in agony each time I take to the stairs.

Maybe tonight the gym will be empty again so I don't have to work so hard.

Friday Night at the Casa

A busy week with work and parenting. Tonight Little One is baby-sitting, so I am watching old "edited for content and time" movies on cable while I surf the web. I keep checking my phone to see if she is calling/texting etc.

I have done a couple of loads of laundry, went to the gym (earlier), and made and ate some tuna fish. Time soon to settle in with Bob Woodward's latest book.

Letting the Dating Begin! Or Perhaps Not

Since I am pretty much officially divorced, several of my co-workers have been asking when I am going to start dating or if there were some "secret" girlfriend that could now be openly discussed. The answer is No to both questions.

And I am in no real hurry to start dating. I can honestly say that at times I miss the companionship, affection and intimacy that such a relationship can provide. But I don't miss most of the other baggage that can come with having a steady.

I think it is also safe to say that I am probably still a bit of a head case and may not be the best candidate for dating right now. Having work friends and acquaintances is more than adequate for now, I think.

Some People Aren't Good at Faking Normality

Not long ago I ran into a high school acquaintance that I hadn't seen in probably 25 years. I honestly didn't remember her by name or face until some time later when she walked me through an old yearbook, and then things clicked. We hadn't been buddies/pals/whatever back then.

In the weeks that followed, as I tried to get to know "Betty", it became painfully clear that she couldn't control her crazy. Let me stop here. I appreciate openness and honesty. I am not saying I need to know someone's life history off the bat. I certainly don't want to hear about every guy you've ever dated/slept with etc., don't need to know about your daddy issues, your credit score and the like. I like that some people can aside a lot of the pretense that often goes along with dating and that can truly be themselves.

That said, if you are crazy, and you show it, I am going to walk. Which is too bad. Betty was attractive, fit, gainfully employed, financially stable and intelligent - she had many positive qualities. She was just crazy. So I had to say goodbye.

I will leave you with this link to a clip from "How I Met Your Mother" which I find to be quite humorous and may help illustrate the point. Betty could have been a supermodel and she would have still been too crazy for me.